Are New Year’s Resolutions Actually Important?
Hey there! As a therapist who sees so many incredible women trying to do it all, I've noticed a pattern in my practice this time of year: the "February burnout". It's that feeling of disappointment and exhaustion that creeps in when the ambitious "New Year, New You" resolutions start to crumble. The truth is, our culture of "hustle" tells us to push hard right after the holidays, but nature—and our own nervous systems—need something different.
January and February, with their short daylight hours and cold weather, are actually a natural time for inward focus, similar to the winter season's need for hibernation. Instead of forcing big changes, I invite you to give yourself permission to rest, recharge, and reflect. The fresh, renewed energy we seek will come naturally with the spring, not by sheer willpower in the dead of winter. This is a time to simply be, to listen to your inner voice, and to check in with what genuinely matters to you.
Resolutions vs. Goals: A Key Difference
The problem isn't the desire for growth; it's often the approach. There's a subtle but significant difference between a New Year's resolution and a goal:
New Year's Resolutions are often born from external pressure or self-criticism. They tend to be broad ("be healthier," "stress less") and lack a clear, actionable plan. They are frequently rigid, setting us up for failure and shame when life inevitably gets in the way.
Goals, on the other hand, are rooted in self-awareness and personal values. They are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART goals). Goals are flexible, allowing for adjustments, and every small step forward is a victory worth celebrating, not a pass/fail judgment. The focus is on progress, not perfection.
How Therapy Can Help You Set Yourself Up for Success
When you're ready to move from reflection to action—whether that's in April or July—therapy can be an incredibly powerful tool. Therapy is about gaining the tools and clarity to navigate life effectively.
Here's how therapy helps with goal setting:
Identifying True Desires: Therapy provides a safe space to explore what you truly want, rather than what you feel you "should" want due to societal expectations.
Building Self-Awareness: By reflecting on past patterns, feelings, and values, you gain a clearer sense of your priorities, which is essential for setting meaningful, aligned goals.
Developing Coping Skills: You learn to manage stress, anxiety, and self-doubt that can derail progress.
Creating Actionable Plans: Therapists can help you break large aspirations into small, manageable steps, increasing the likelihood of success and building confidence.
Practicing Self-Compassion: Crucially, therapy helps you approach setbacks with kindness rather than harsh self-judgment, allowing you to learn and return to your path.
Allow yourselves to lean into the quiet energy of winter. Reflect, rest, and know that whenever you're ready to grow, you don't have to do it alone.